Curiosity Over Contention

Almost everyone I work with has at least one outsized person in their professional sphere. Someone who like all of us is just a person, but looms large in my clients’ minds.

Often it’s a boss that a client understandably wants to impress or a peer who seems to always have all the answers or a board member who enters conversations with pronouncements rather than an attitude of co-development.

These individuals can take on mythic proportions – causing otherwise confident people to shut down, question themselves, and take a posture of subservience rather than active engagement when issues arise that point to a variance in perspectives.  

The path forward I always promote is not one of coming out swinging with counterarguments, but one of curiosity. Approaching positions you disagree with or don’t feel quite sold on with questions not only can feel safer, but it also yields a better result.

Asking allows for neutral exploration. It increases the asker’s understanding and in sparking an articulation of the why behind a position or decision can bring new awareness to the person being asked.

Using this approach has helped many people I coach receive the information they need to be persuaded, as well as spark conversations that allow them to persuade others. In short, when that little inner voice frames your choice as fighting or conceding, consider curiosity instead.